Moment of clarity
by Lahtraya Obsidian Moon
Summary: Set after COE, The 10th Doctor finds Captain Harkness in such a state that it almost breaks his hearts.
1. Chapter 1

**Set after COE, The Doctor finds Jack completely devastated and in need of his tender care. Seeing the captain in such a state forces The Doctor to have a revelation. M rated, there will be hot sex at some point so 18+ for this one. ** HIGH SMUT WARNING****

**Chapter one.**

Moment of clarity.

When The Doctor finally finds Jack Harkness he can hardly believe that the man before him is truly the Jack he thought he knew. A pitiful sight to behold, this creature was dressed in filthy rags. His hair was long and matted and the stench that rose from him was almost unbearable. The Doctor knelt beside his old companion and sighed. 'Oh, Jack…what have you done to yourself' he thought as he lifted the man's head up and pushed the hair away from his face. This was indeed Captain Jack Harkness. Or the shell of him at least. The Doctor felt his hearts break and tears welled up in his eyes. Seeing Jack like this was nearly too much for him.

"Oh, Jack…" was all he could manage to say.

With a determined look on his face The Doctor slid one arm behind Jack and the other under his legs then proceeded to stand with the larger man in his arms as if he were a child. Jack did not respond in anyway and that worried The Doctor even more. The Doctor may not look strong but he is and getting Jack back to the TARDIS was easy for him.

A moment after The Doctor stepped into the TARDIS, she had prepared a bedroom for Jack and put it next to her control room. Even the TARDIS has a weak spot for Captain Harkness. Carefully The Doctor placed Jack on the bed, pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and gave Jack a quick scan. Frowning at the results he put his hand on Jack's face tenderly.

"Nothing wrong physically my boy, so what do I do now?" The Doctor mused. The smell, something had to be done about the smell. The Doctor began stripping the dirty rags from his friends body. To find that the skin underneath was filthy too. With a heavy sigh The doctor lifted Jack's lifeless, nude form from the bed and carried him into the bathroom that the TARDIS had placed next to the bedroom.

"Thank you old girl" said The Doctor when he saw that the tub was already full of steaming hot water. He paused for a moment to consider his options, Jack would drown on his own so there was really nothing else for it. He lowered Jack to the floor and stripped off his own clothing, picked Jack up and stepped into the tub. A soft half moan slipped from Jack's lips in response to the heat of the water. The Doctor took it as a good sign. The only position that would allow The Doctor to scrub Jack clean was to have him in between his legs, laying back against The Doctor. This allowed for one hand to steady Jack and the other too scrub. When he had cleaned every inch of the still unresponsive Jack, he stood with the man in his arms and the tub drained automatically. Then the TARDIS sprayed them both with clean warm water, when she was done The Doctor stepped out of the tub and wrapped his charge in a warm fluffy towel. He carries Jack back to the bed ( the TARDIS has removed the rags and soiled sheets, burnt them and put fresh linen on the bed) and gently lowers him onto it. Jack's state is really distressing to The Doctor and he starts to pace the room, thinking furiously. He had washed every inch of the immortal humans body even the genitals and got no reaction what so ever. So not the flirty, over sexed Jack he knows. Perhaps the recent events on Earth had truly broken the captain. Finally he could stand no more and left the room to get dressed, knowing that the TARDIS would keep an eye on Jack.

It took The Doctor over two hours to make a decision as to how to proceed. It seemed that Jack had shut down mentally and that would mean going into his mind and dragging him out. If anyone had the skill and patience it was The Doctor. He returned to the bedroom and removed his jacket, laid it over the back of a chair and sat next to Jack. The Doctor laid down next to Jack, rolled slightly onto his side and lightly pressed his finger tips to Jack's temple.

Darkness like a room with no windows greeted The Doctor yet there was sound, a hearts wrenching sobbing. That sound almost broke The Doctor but for Jack's sake he held it together and followed the sound though the utter darkness. He found Jack's consciousness curled into a ball weeping.

"Jack" whispered The Doctor.

Nothing, just sobs.

The Doctor's mind caressed Jack's tenderly and he tried again "Jack Harkness, speak to me my friend" said The doctor's mind.

A groan. A slight twitch of the mind. Jack had heard him he must try harder.

"Captain Harkness !" barked The doctor hoping Jack's military training would kick in. "Report"

"Dead, all dead" mumbled Jack's mind before it went back to sobbing.

No one but the TARDIS saw the single tear that rolled down The Doctors face at that moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two.**

Steeling himself for what he must do, for what Jack needed him to do, The Doctor asserted himself and got militant. It went against every fibre of his being but it had to be done, for Jake's sake. "Captain Harkness, pull yourself together man. I want a proper report on the double" said The Doctor doing his best drill sergeant impersonation.

Jack's mind snapped to attention "Sir, yes Sir" he barked.

'Getting somewhere then' thought The Doctor so he pressed forward. Gently nudging Jack's mind as he went, "Captain, do you know where you are?"

Jack's mind whimpered "Alone in the dark".

Another single tear slid down The Doctor's cheek.

"No Jack, your far from alone. I'm here Jack, The Doctor's here". he said tenderly.

"Doctor?" asked Jack hopefully.

"Yes Jack. It's me, my friend" soothed The Doctor.

"I killed them…I killed him….oh Doctor…..I….." sobbed Jack.

The Doctor wrapped Jack's mind in a deep feeling of safety and love.

"I know Jack, I know. You saved the rest of them Jack, you saved the children of earth".

Jack's mind started to retreat back into itself, so The Doctor said the only thing he could think of to keep his friend from slipping away forever "I love you Jack, don't leave me"

A twitch.

A slight rise in awareness.

"I'd be alone forever without you Jack….I hate being without you" The Doctor confessed.

That's when it hit, the moment of clarity…he wasn't just trying to save his friend he was confessing his deepest feelings. Feelings he had tried to deny, tried to suppress. Well no more running, at least not from Jack.

"I will do everything I have to, to make sure I am never without you again Jack so please come back to me" pleaded The Doctor.

A large rise in awareness.

A moan.

Jack's body moved closer to The Doctor's body.

"That's it my love, come back to me. I need you" cooed The Doctor.

"Doctor…am I dreaming. I must be dreaming" said Jack's mind.

"No Jack, your not dreaming. I'm here, we're in the TARDIS. Well our bodies are"

"Our bodies…" asked Jack's mind.

"Yes my gorgeous boy, we are talking in your mind. It's where I found you but you have to come back to me Jack. Come back to awareness"

Jack's mind rose towards consciousness slowly.

"Yes my love, that's the way. Come back to me" encouraged the Doctor.

Jack's body convulsed. The doctor sensed that Jack thought he was being lied to. So he raced to stop Jack from running from him.

"Jack, it truly is me. You're an impossible thing Jack but I love you all same. I haven't been able to admit it not even to myself. I would do anything to save you, even admit to what scares me the most, my gorgeous boy"

A pause.

Jack's body tremble's as his mind pushes itself back into awareness. The Doctor opens his eyes so that he'll be looking into Jack's when the other wakes.

Eyelids flutter then open to reveal the bluest of eyes.

"Ah there you are, my friend" said The doctor with a smile.

"Doctor?" asked Jack as his eyes focused on the Time Lord beside him.

"Yes Jack, I am here. Not leaving you ever again, my love" stated The Doctor as he caressed Jack's face. Stunned was the only word for Jack's expression at that moment. "I wasn't dreaming then…you really do…love me?" asked Jack.

"Yes I do, have done for awhile it seems. You know me, always running but not anymore Jack. Well not from you" replied The Doctor with a tender smile.

A dazzling smile lit up Jack's eyes with that oh so Jack sparkle and the Doctor's hearts skipped a beat in unison.

"You mean you want me to travel with you again?" asked Jack a little shyly.

"If that's what you want, I won't be without you any longer Jack Harkness, not a moment longer" stated The Doctor emphatically before he closed the short distance between them and laid a soft kiss on Jack's lips. Jack melted, his body felt liquid at the touch of the Time Lord's lips yet he managed to kiss back. How perfect for a first kiss, soft and tender.

When the kiss broke Jack's eyes were a tad unfocussed which made The Doctor grin. "Oh my gorgeous love, the time we have to make up for…so selfish of me"

Jack put a finger to The Doctor's lips and said "You are the most selfless being I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, Doctor. Don't you dare say such things about the alien I love"

A flush rushed into the Time Lord's cheeks and he smiled. "Oh Jack, go on…' he said.

"Damn right I will, your kind, caring, sexy as hell, brilliant, generous…did I mention sexy as hell?" quipped Jack.

"I believe you did yes"

"Get used to that one you'll be hearing it a lot" Jack says with a grin.

"As long as I'm hearing it from you Jack" flirted The Doctor before pulling Jack against himself and wrapping the man he loved in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

Jack snuggled into The Doctor's arms with a contented smile. All the hurt and pain he felt was soothed just by being in this beings arms. Jack knew he was safe, Jack knew he was loved. Just by being held so tenderly, so closely Jack felt better. The events that had sent him running into his own mind would always hurt him, had left a scar on Jack's heart but being with his Doctor, his love just made everything better. They held each other like that for a long time, both men savouring the other.

The Doctor's hand cupped Jack's chin and drew his face up for a kiss. Jack went eagerly, anticipation making his eyes sparkle. The sight of those eyes, like that stirred the Time Lord's loins.

"So lovely, my Jack" breathed The Doctor before he locked his lips to Jack's. Soft full lips parted as The Doctor's tongue slid between them. His tongue explored Jack's mouth, licking and tasting. Jack quivered and a small moan escaped him. Music to the Time Lord's ears. A hand slides down Jack's side to grip his hip and pull him closer to The Doctor. Jack needs no more encouragement and presses his groin against The Doctor's and finds that the Time Lord is already hard. Jack breaks the kiss, pulling his head back enough to see his love properly "Your so big" he gasps. The Doctor smiles shyly and replies "Not too big I hope…I'd never do anything to hurt you Jack"

That oh so Jack expression lights up his face, all sex and swagger. The Doctor can almost see the carnal thoughts racing through Jack's mind. He can't help but grin at his immortal. 'My immortal…yes I quite like that idea' thought The Doctor as Jack opened his mouth to say something dirty no doubt.

"I've never been a size queen but I could start" said Jack with a wiggle of his very expressive eyebrows. Try as he might The Doctor couldn't help but laugh. "Oh Jack, I really have missed your perpetual flirting. Come here my love" says the Doctor as he pulls Jack in for another kiss.

Then there are no more words…just mouths, tongue's, hands. Roaming, exploring, caressing.

Jack deftly strips the clothing from his Time Lord so that he can feel cool bare skin against his own hot flesh. A million late night fantasies couldn't begin to come close to how actually being with The Doctor felt. Every nerve was alive and coursing with sensation. Time Lord fingertips sent little tingles down his spine as they brushed over his thighs. Tiny electric shocks thrilled his hardness as The Doctor breathed against his neck. The only word Jack could make his overloaded mind actually say was "Doctor"

Jack tastes so good, he feels even better. Soft and hard, an interesting combination and the way he responds to my touch is intoxicating. The Doctor kisses his way down Jack's chest stopping to tease and lick his nipples before continuing his decent. He kisses around Jack's hardness and down to his thighs, forcing a disappointed moan from Jack. With a sly grin The Doctor alternates between the left and right thighs, kissing lightly. Jack squirms and gasps. This illicit's a small chuckle from the Time Lord. Without warning there is a tongue licking it's way up Jack's hard member. "Oh Doctor" Jack gasps shuddering with pleasure. The Doctor takes the engorged head in his mouth and rolls his tongue around it and has to pin Jack's hips to the bed as they buck involuntarily. Jack thrashes his head from side to side, the sensation of The Doctor's mouth and skilled tongue on his cock almost unbearable. Slowly The Doctor swallowed all of Jack and when his lips touched the base Jack's fingers tangled themselves in messy brown locks and his spine bows. The Doctor keeps and steady pressure on Jack's hardness as he slowly draws all but the head from his mouth, his tongue swirls around again then wet lips slide back down the shaft. Jack moans deliriously, giving himself over completely as his Time Lord gives him the most mind blowing deep throat he's ever had.

The orgasm rocks his body, makes him see stars which is only fitting considering he's with a Time Lord. It takes him a few moments to learn to breath again but eventually he manages to whisper "Oh Doctor…your amazing"

"Really Jack…I'm sure you've had better" said The Doctor shyly.

"Never…ever" stated Jack firmly, pulling the Time Lord closer for a kiss. The Doctor flushed, delighted at the compliment. While they kissed, Jack pulled them both to their knees. Wrapped in each others arms they kissed passionately. Hands wandering over each others bodies, finding those spots only a lover should know. Spots to make the other moan and writhe against you as you brush your fingertips over them.

"Oh Jack" moans The Doctor as Jack's mouth closes upon his

nipple. A shiver runs the entire length of the Time Lord's body.

A mischievous grin plays over Jack's face and he repeats the

action on the other nipple. A second full body shiver races

through The Doctor and it's Jack's turn to chuckle knowingly.

He proceeds to kiss and lick his way towards The Doctor's hard,

thick penis. Teasing as he goes, nibbling along one hip then the

other "Damn Jack…that's so aahhh" cries The Doctor in

ecstasy. Jack moves lower balancing on one hand he uses the

other to position The Doctor's erection. In one swift and well

practiced movement Jack swallows the entire length of his

beloved Doctor. His head flies back and his back arches as Jack

takes every inch of him deep into his throat, a ragged cry

escapes The Doctor's lips and his eyes roll back as Jack sucks

greedily on his cock. For the very first time in his very long life

The Doctor can't think.

*Please feel free to review this story, I'd love to know what you

all think*


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

Doesn't need to think…just enjoy. Oh the sensations, Jack is an exceptional lover but it is so much more than that. Only some one who truly loves you could make it feel this good. Lost in sensation The Doctor moans Jack's name over and over again. Jack rolls his eyes up so that he can see the Time Lords face while he sucked and licked. Then it happens, the one thing Jack has wanted to hear for so very long…his name moaned in ecstasy by The Doctor. Just the sound of it is enough to get Jack very hard again. He is torn between tasting his love and fucking him, Jack wishes that he was double jointed more than ever. Another husky moan of his name decides him and he releases The Doctor. The Time Lord protests loudly and Jack just grins at him before saying "We're gonna need lube"

"Oh…um yes I guess we will" replied a flustered Doctor.

There was a soft beeping, Jack turned to find a tube of banana flavoured lube on the bedside table. With a devious chuckle he said "Thanks old girl"

Jack turned back to find The Doctor flat on his back, legs spread invitingly. Jack's eyes darkened with lust as he moved between those long muscled legs, simultaneously thumbing the lid open. Cold lube fills Jack's hand, he drops the tube and rubs a little warmth into the liquid before slathering his straining cock with it then using the rest to prepare his lover. One finger and the Time lord is moaning again, two fingers and he's writhing and panting Jack's name again. He'd been teased enough decided Jack and slowly withdrew his fingers. The Doctor whimpered at the loss of the sensation only to gasp as Jack gently entered his tight ass. Slowly Jack buried himself in his lover until every inch of his considerable cock was sheathed. "Oh love, your so damn tight" husked Jack.

"Don't stop" moaned the Time Lord writhing underneath him. So Jack began a gentle rhythm, feeling The Doctor gradually loosen up he stepped up the pace.

His back arches as Jack's thrusts get harder, a moan of the purest pleasure escapes his kiss swollen lips. He opens his eyes to see Jack drinking in the sight of him and that look in Jack's eyes makes his hearts skip another tandem beat. It hits him then…another moment of clarity. Jack was his forever, really truly forever because Jack didn't stay dead. Jack would never leave him, never grow old and die. Never get killed saving someone, well he would but he wouldn't stay dead. They could travel together til the end of time…he'd never be alone again. "Oh Jack…yes, my love yes" moaned The Doctor.

The rush of emotion at hearing those words, those all important, life saving words…my love is more than Jack can bare and a tear of joy rolls down his cheek as he makes love to his ONLY true love. It would never be fucking for Jack, not with this being, not ever. Oh he was sure that at some point things would get a little rough and tumble but in Jack's heart he would always be making love to his Time Lord. HIS Time Lord, finally !

The Doctor hardened again as Jack made love to him, he could see it in Jack's eyes…he wasn't being fucked, no nothing as base as that. Every stroke sang of love, tender care and longing. A longing that made the Time Lord just a little guilty at having denied Jack for so long. A guilt he intended to sooth by giving himself over to Jack completely and not just here and now either. Forever, he would be Jack's forever. "I love you Jack, I'm your's" moaned The Doctor as he met Jack thrust for thrust.

Jack leant closer to his love, claimed his lips for a soft kiss and asked in a whisper "Be mine forever?"

"Oh yes, my love…yours til the end of time" gasped The Doctor eagerly as the sensation built inside him and exploded.

Those words, from those lips, in that pleasure filled voice drove Jack over the edge and he came harder than he ever had and for Jack that was certainly saying something.

Gasping for air, they collapse in each others arms, Jack holding most of his weight off the smaller being with his elbows. Jack nuzzles his lover's ear and breathes "All mine"

"Forever" replies The Doctor as Jack gently withdraws himself to lay beside the Time Lord.

"I'm not done with you Captain" growls The Doctor as he straddles Jack's legs.

A shudder courses through Jack at that tone, damn his love is sexy and ever so enticing. Jack grins and says "Do your worst" with cheekiness in his tone.

"No, my love. Only the best for you" grinned the Time Lord playfully. "Now where's that lube got too?" he added with a wink. Jack moans in anticipation. The lube is found and applied liberally to them both. The Doctor teased Jack, slowly caressing his entrance with the head of his own erection. He was rewarded with writhing and a sensuous moan from Jack. The Doctor teased his lover until he himself could take no more of the sensation and slipped gently into Jack's inviting ass. Violently throwing his back and almost screaming "Doctor" was Jack's reaction to having the Time Lord fully sheathed inside him. It made the Time Lord pause thinking he'd hurt Jack. "Oh god you feel so good" moaned Jack. The Doctor smiles and begins a slow steady rhythm. Drawing most of his length out then sliding back in, loving the tight warm feel of Jack. Again they made love, tenderly slowly. Wallowing in the sensations building between them, moaning and gasping as another orgasm started to ride them both. It broke over them at the same time, each man calling out the others name as they came together. The Doctor lowered himself onto Jack and was immediately enveloped in strong arms. Light kisses laid gently on his fore head made the Time Lord look up at Jack, a languid smile on his face. "I love you Doc" said Jack with a tender smile.

"I love you too, my gorgeous immortal" replied The Doctor a happy smile on his lips.

They snuggle into each other and drift off to sleep.

*Not sure if I should keep going with this one, any feed back would be greatly appreciated*


End file.
